It sucks when someone judges you. That’s exactly my thought whenever I see a crowd of three or four adults looking at a girl going inside a bank with skimpy shorts and a tattered shirt. I’d think, “Hey, leave her be, will you?” Who says great people always wear ties?
They say first impressions last, so you’ll want to make a good one. If you’re worried about hitting the mark, here are some tips to help you prepare for that first date.
Set the mood.
Even before you meet up with your date, try to set the mood for yourself. Take time to really prepare for the date. Take a relaxing warm shower or bath. Play some feel-good music and dance around your room a little.
Pump yourself up by talking to some friends who will be encouraging. Try to figure out how to get yourself excited about the date instead of thinking about what could go wrong.
Have realistic expectations.
Forget about the dozens of romantic comedies you’ve seen. Hollywood has set the bar unrealistically high. Go easy on yourself – and your date – by setting realistic expectations. The conversation doesn’t have to be non-stop.
Some silence in between is completely normal and doesn’t necessarily mean your date is bored. Some slip-ups or mistakes are perfectly fine. Sometimes, these can make the night even more memorable. It’s important to remember that everything doesn’t have to go perfectly smoothly.
Practice having casual conversations.
If you feel anxious over the thought of small talk and conversing, try practicing before your big date. Strike up a conversation with someone at the park or your local barista. Finding your rhythm and knowing what you can easily talk about will be a great help.
If you’re uncomfortable talking about yourself, try to focus on what interests you about the other person. Once you’ve figured that out, ask more about it. Another tip is to listen to what other people ask you about. Use those questions as a guide and maybe you can ask your date the same things.
See it in a different light.
Don’t see it as a make-or-break date. Try thinking of it as making a new friend, at the very least. This will help with worries you might have about messing up. Try to imagine you’re just talking to a friend. Let yourself relax around them and don’t think about worst-case scenarios. Try to put your mindset into thinking of it as something you’re already comfortable with.
Another way to look at a first date is that it’ll never be a losing situation. You’re getting into this date as a single individual. At best, you make a good connection and a second date. At worst, you’ve gained new experiences and know more about what you’re looking for in a person.
Don’t over-analyze the date afterward.
Don’t beat yourself up over stuttering when you spoke about your job. Don’t stress over forgetting a detail about your date. These things happen. Owning up to your mistakes are important but replaying them over and over in your head helps nobody.
If you make a slip-up, apologize and move on. Laugh and maybe make a joke out of it. Don’t hold onto the mistakes you might have made. Thinking about them too much will not bring you back in time to prevent you from making them.
Things are over and done with already. Learn from them but also move on. Remember that everyone also gets nervous and can make slip-ups too.
Moving on from a relationship is hard, but moving on from a toxic relationship is a totally different story. You may not recognize it yet, or perhaps you are still in denial, but identifying a toxic from a healthy relationship could be one of the most enlightening experiences to have. Not until you ended and have moved on from that toxic relationship would you totally feel relieved and free.
Toxic relationships come in various forms. However, their main denominators would be: taking away your self-confidence, destroying your self-esteem, and degrading you to a level you never thought you would ever have to be in. Most abused individuals never thought they would let anyone break them the way their partners do. But when they’ve become too invested in the relationship and have been perfectly manipulated by their abusers, they feel as if they were held as captives and that there is no way out.
Fortunately, a lot of people have been out of toxic relationships and are able to tell their stories of how they ended things and moved on. So, if you think there’s no way out, think again. Here are proven steps to move on from a toxic relationship:
Block all forms of communication.
The first few months after a breakup is a tough part. You constantly miss your ex-partner and you keep thinking about what they are doing and if they are doing just fine without you. You find yourself stalking them on Twitter, watching their Instagram stories, and checking the green circle on Facebook messenger.
Sure, it could go on for a few weeks. But if you are really determined to forget and move on, you have to realize that stalking your ex will not help you get there. The mantra “Out of sight, out of mind” is especially helpful for people wanting to forget.
Block them on all social media sites where you follow each other, erase their contact number, and challenge yourself for a week or even a month of ‘total abstinence’ from them.
Staying in an abusive relationship means you lack self-love. If you value yourself, you would know that you do not deserve to be treated that way in the first place. Now that you are free, it’s time to make up for everything you’ve been through by pampering yourself and not settling for anything less than you deserve.
Self-love could be as easy as going on a shopping spree and upgrading your wardrobe or even having that eyelash extension you’ve always wanted. Make it all about you, once and for all.
Go out with your friends and build a support system.
Most of the time, abusers do not let their partners go out with their friends as often as they did when they were single. It could be because they do not want their partners to share to their friends what is happening between them or they are just plain jealous all the time.
Your friends are your friends for a reason and if going out with them would make you forget, then do so by all means. Share with them what you’ve been through to get the support that you need. You might be overwhelmed by the immensity of support you will get from the people around you when all along you thought you were alone in your battle.
Seek help from a therapist.
Some people who have been in very toxic relationships lose all hope of ever fixing themselves. There are several online and personal therapists whom you could reach at any time to seek help. You may be wondering how much is therapy, but it could all depend on the degree of help that you would be needing.
It is best that you consult either online or set an appointment right away. You can start with visiting BetterHelp.com to know what options are available for you as well as how much it actually costs to use online therapy. Talking to an expert would give you a scientific understanding of what you’ve been through, why you let it happen, and why it continues to affect you. Remember, you have been manipulated and abused. You’re not supposed to blame yourself for falling into a trap.
Make yourself busy by improving yourself. Take that cooking class you’ve been interested about or that calligraphy class you’ve been eyeing online. Even the smallest things such as reading a few articles a day, or hitting the gym for an hour would make a huge difference in your life. Do it for yourself because you owe it yourself.
Degrees of the toxic relationship vary from one couple to another. But moving out of it could be done in similar ways. It might just take longer for other people but with sheer determination, you will also get there. For now, block your ex first and from there, everything will follow.
I’ve asked a lot of my male friends what they would really do to get to date a woman. Most of them actually surprised me when they said that they would do mostly anything for their woman to date them – or to have sex with them. Meaning, women won’t know if they’re in it for the marriage or merely for getting them to bed.
It is so awkward being on a date and not knowing what to talk about. The silence that fills the spaces and not knowing what to say to fill it up can be so uncomfortable. It is easy to run out of things to talk about when you meet someone for the first time.
For first dates, the perfect conversations can make or mark your chances of getting another date, so it’s important that you have an idea of interesting discussion topics, so you don’t run out of what to discuss with your dates.
So you want to go on a date with the lady you’ve had a crush on, and you want to impress her. You are looking for cool date ideas that will help you) leave her feeling excited. You don’t have to rob a bank to take her on awesome dates. There are cheap creative date ideas that can excite her. Dinner dates and coffee dates seem dull and ordinary. Nobody wants boring activities anymore so why don’t you let your creative juices flow and think of adventurous date ideas for you and your date.
Starting a new relationship or entering the dating scene after a long time can be overwhelming which is why there are some set of rules for dating. Not everyone might know all the rules when it comes to having a successful relationship. Sometimes, the work involved in keeping a relationship intact is harder than it should be. There are days when you just want to call it quits and resign yourself to long nights of loneliness while on other days, you feel like you are on cloud 9 and never want to let go.
Can you imagine my mother who has been divorced since she was thirty, has found “the one” for her the second time around, on her 50th birthday? That’s right! When she celebrated her glorious age of 50, her then “boyfriend” proposed to her and gave her a Tiffany engagement ring. The rock was enormous (he owns two or three fast-food chains so I’m assuming he’s moneyed ) and I was really jealous of my mom! I got a cubic zirconia, silver plated engagement ring while she was given a blue box.
Have you ever rehearsed what you’re going to say during your most awaited first date with someone? Have you tried searching online for tips on what to ask during your first date? Or do you ever wonder if your usual date questions actually matter? If your answer is yes, yes, and yes, worry not. Everyone else thought about those at least once in their dating lifetime. Because first dates are important in deciding whether to continue seeing someone or not, let me share 15 questions that may help you on your first date.
Every couple has their own way of spending the day together. Whatever it is, it might be a little too routinely if that’s the only thing you keep doing with your partner when you’re out on a date. It would help to spice things up a bit sometimes. If you do, it ignites the spark and excitement between you two. The thought of “Oh! We are actually doing this together. Crazy!”