Be it in advertisements, romance novels, social media, and magazines, dating topics are almost a staple daily topic everywhere. This also includes a very popular choice about moving on from a painful break-up. How do we start a new life after investing so much time, effort and emotions from a relationship we thought would last forever? A romantic relationship filled with so much love has turned into a cycle of misunderstandings, blame games, and toxic fights.
Should I let go?
After sharing so many goals and memories together, one day you both decided to go on separate ways. But what are the important factors to consider before you call it quits? Ask yourself if what you will decide upon is just based on emotions. Remember, feelings change. You should not decide because you are upset to your partner or you’re just disappointed. If things have cooled down and you are ready to talk, openly discuss the situation and circumstances that influenced you to make that decision. Determine why you believe it is more helpful not to continue the relationship anymore.
More often than not, there is nothing wrong with both of you. It’s just that you do not look at the same picture the same way as before. Be honest and transparent. By doing so, even if you are frustrated with the relationship, you will avoid a pretentious outcome just because you were protecting your ego the entire time.
Moving on and facing another life
Just like any situation of letting go, moving on involves a process. A part of that is enduring the pain as you go through the initial phase of the art of letting go. The first few days will make you reminisce all the times you’ve been together. You may even question your decision and miss the person. But suddenly, you do not get that regular text messages or calls asking you mundane questions about your day. Surely, it feels new and strange. But, never let that to be a reason for you to get back together. Just because you do not feel good does not mean that you will not carefully think things over that this relationship is not healthy anymore. Instead of whining and crying, spend more time with your friends and family. They are the people who truly understand and support you.
Although the relationship didn’t work well, it is vital for you to understand that this person has contributed to what you have become. This is still mandatory even if you do not end up as good friends again. Through your experiences and outlook in life, you will use them to be whole and ready again in your next relationships.
Sometimes, even if two people are good individuals, it won’t work as well if you do not share the same outlook, interests, and priorities. Never enter into a rebound relationship just because you want to prove your ex that you have moved on first. Take your time. Invest on it by improving yourself, by feeling good about yourself until you are ready and willing to enter a new relationship.
Use this time to focus on your personal goals and to improve yourself. You can use this time to focus on your studies, get a new hobby, or learn new skills. Keeping yourself busy allows you to channel your time and energy to more productive and fulfilling activities rather than spending it inside the four corners of your bedroom sobbing, feeling like a total wreck, and go through depression.
Love and relationships are vague. They have no no definition, no formulas, and no rules. When you finally found “the right one,” all these unanswered puzzles become clear and complete. Eventually, you will find yourself committed and choosing to love the same person every day in every way.