Tinder. OKCupid. Badoo. These are just a few of the most popular websites for online dating. According to the survey conducted by the Pew Research Center last 2016, 15% of all the adult American population has tried online dating once in their lives. It is undeniably possible that the popularity of online dating is on fire.
Can you imagine my mother who has been divorced since she was thirty, has found “the one” for her the second time around, on her 50th birthday? That’s right! When she celebrated her glorious age of 50, her then “boyfriend” proposed to her and gave her a Tiffany engagement ring. The rock was enormous (he owns two or three fast-food chains so I’m assuming he’s moneyed ) and I was really jealous of my mom! I got a cubic zirconia, silver plated engagement ring while she was given a blue box.
There are so many minor and major infractions that can destroy a relationship. Maybe one partner is too busy for the other, or one has the inability to remember important dates or is lying and cheating. Or worse, a vicious habit that one is keeping from another and actually needs recovery from addiction. Most of these issues could have been solved by listening to your partner and understanding their needs.
In the early appearance of the internet, every person was warned never to meet anybody from the internet. There was this misconception that every person on the internet was a murderer, a thief, a cheat or a serial killer.
Presently, online dating has become fun and is no longer seen as strange; people are beginning to embrace it as normal. Some people have even gone ahead to have long lasting relationships that led to marriage with partners they met online. A recent survey in Match.com shows that one in five people in a committed relationship, and one in six people married during the last three years, met their partners on the internet.
When women date, most of them (including me) would hope that their dates would flourish into wonderful and lasting relationships. Well, at first it would seem that they just want to have fun and have somebody to show off to their friends or their exes. Then when the first date becomes the second and the third, a flicker of hope begins to grow into them, yearning as always that this date is THE ONE.
And why wouldn’t he be? He’s handsome, especially when he smiles with his eyes. He’s so much fun to be with, he’s totally awesome with your friends, and he seems to be all over you! What’s there not to hope?
But what about the little things? Have you noticed his small habits or his unlikely mannerisms? What about the way he talks to you? Is he gentle or do you sense a tinge of sarcasm in his voice that he so tries to hide?
Here are a few warning signs that you should watch out for so you’ll know that your date is not boyfriend material after all.
Warning Signs That He’s Not Boyfriend Material
He postpones your dates and his activities are suspicious. It’s one thing to be late on a date, but it’s a big turn-off if he keeps on making excuses not to push through with one. When he says he can’t make it tonight because something important came up or that there’s an emergency at work, you better think twice, girl.
A shady person almost always cannot be trusted. It only means he won’t be there when you need him to be – or it just wouldn’t matter to him if you spend anniversaries alone.
He wants to change the way you are. When your date looks at you as if you’re perfect with those small side flabs and tiny freckles on your face, then you can consider holding on to him. But if he were someone who tells you there’s no way that he would tolerate his girl gaining weight and not lifting those weights, please tell him to be on his way.
Of course, it’s always good to be each other’s inspiration with everything, but when it seems as if you need to change something just to meet his standards, that is way beyond just wanting what’s best for you but what’s desirable to him.
He’s dating another girl but he tells you he’s more into you. If you think that’s flattering, think again. This doesn’t only show that he’s not committed but also that he’s not sure what he wants. He may want you today but tomorrow he might tell you he’s with Cathy and he finally decided she’s the one for him. So what do you do?
Of course, don’t give him the chance to treat you like he’s the one who dumped you. Dump him first and simply tell him, “You don’t deserve me.”
He badmouths his ex and tells you things that he shouldn’t have divulged to anyone in the first place. Being a gentleman is one of the best assets of a man, and backbiting an ex is certainly not the most gentlemanly thing to do. A guy who says something negative about his ex to you might give you the sense that he hasn’t really gotten over his ex – which could actually be true!
Also, some guys are so hung up with being hurt from their past relationships that they keep on complaining about how bad relationships can get. You have got to watch out for men like these. They spew negativity even before the two of you could even start. Don’t let this guy move on to date number two. Believe me. It’s better that way.
What I think
I guess out of the many red flags that I’ve read about men, these are some of the most important, all of which I do agree upon. Let’s hope we get to meet guys who are committed to making us happy and inspire us to be better but allow us to be ourselves.
The natural progression of relationships stems across years. Throughout those years, you and your partner grow and change a lot individually and as a couple. Part of “playing the long game” involves making plans about your future together. But sometimes, when two different people are in a relationship, these differences could either complement or cause friction between partners.
Whether you’re planning for college, or a dream job, dream city–or even not planning at all–when you’re in a relationship, decisions are not one-sided anymore. They become these multi-facet matrix where one opinion or preference could be the total opposite of what your partner wants.
In choosing who will be the right person in our teens, it is also right that they are the one to choose it not us – the parents! But, of course, we are just here to guide them. If you feel that your relationship is breaking down or your partner starts to display severe mood swings, you may want to turn to online counseling for help. In the meantime, below are few tips for you to use on how to guide them on how they will choose their love one soon.
Some men are serious about finding a woman they can fall completely in love with which can last for a lifetime. Likewise, women are tired of the dating scene and are waiting for the right man to come along who can commit to them for a life of bliss. Women need to keep a number of things in mind when trying to land that special guy.
Though we all want to find Mr. Right, it is imperative to teach our teenage daughters that it not easy to do so and that no one is perfect. That is why we, as parents, are here to guide and give them the support they need from us. However, if you have a teenager who you think is dating the wrong person and they won’t listen to you, you may wish to seek help with online counseling to learn ways on how to address the issue. Anyway…
You wake up with a pounding headache and the smell of your sheets – no, not your sheets – because you’re in someone else’s house!
You partied hard last night and you got so bombed you have only vague memories of mostly everything. You remember dancing with a cute guy – the one you were sharing tables with. You kissed while you danced and – well that was the most you can recall.
As you lay there not moving and couldn’t actually move because you don’t know where to go, you are filled with regret that you had too much to drink. You reach for your clothes on the floor and very quietly, you get into them, slip out of the room and head straight home without looking back. What happened was a one-night stand and will stay that way – at least as far as you know.
But come to think of it. If he calls and asks for a date, would you consider it? Perhaps you could give it a try, just to know how it really went that night – if you’re up to it – just to see if there’s chemistry between the two of you after all.
Not All One-Night Stands Don’t Work
In a recent study done by Match.com, they found that 27% of females turned their one-night stands into great relationships. This is to say that after being with someone you just met and talked with for a few hours and getting into bed with him quickly after, won’t necessarily mean no good will come out of it always. It means that some people who had one-night stands attempted to call or text each other to see if they were compatible with some things other than sex.
Planning to call or text after that fateful night is not easy, though. The awkwardness will be evident in the long silence between your conversations and the laughs that are almost obligatory. When you both decide to meet for the second time, it’ll be unusual to see each other in your clothes, as you seem to have forgotten that night before you went to bed. But when you get over that part, you’d be surprised that your conversations will be enjoyable and fun. You’ll have a lot to talk about because you’re actually still getting to know each other.
There have been a lot of testimonials from couples who started their relationships from one-time casual sex. They admitted that before you could see something special in a one-night stand, you should be able to get through that night and decide what to do in the morning – if you’re willing to wait for your date to wake up and talk about having breakfast together, to be open for a second date if he calls – or if you call – and if you decide that you don’t want to pursue it after all.
Although one-night stands have a negative reputation, more and more single men and women of today reveal that their current blooming relationships didn’t start the usual way. They never thought they’d end up with their partners now, but they did. It really is possible. That someone you spent the night with could be the one you’re going to spend your life with.
Here’s an excerpt of a one-night stand gone special:
“While traveling, I stayed in a hostel in Australia. One night, I met Sam, who was staying there too. We drank, flirted and ended up in a bunk bed in an empty dorm. I snuck back to my room, but the next day he came to ask if I wanted to hang out. We ended up traveling together, and seven and a half years on, we’re married.” Jean, 27