5 Signs You’re Ready To Go Back To The Dating Scene

Finding your soulmate is more of a serendipitous occurrence than it is a mission. But sometimes, you need to put yourself out there and take matters into your hands. After all, you will be with them for the rest of your lives. If you don’t want to end up shattering your dream of building a beautiful and loving family, you will need to be regardful of the people you choose to date.

If you’ve broken up with an ex, you’d feel as if getting back to the dating scene is a big challenge. Remember not to let that fear stop you from attaining true happiness. Your past relationships may have failed, but that doesn’t mean you won’t meet your right partner.

Whether you’re ready or a bit doubtful, it’s understandable. You need help answering the question in your head, “Do I need to meet someone new?”

Here are five signs that tell you’re READY to go back to the dating scene:

You’ve Flushed Out Feelings Of Bitterness

Humans are naturally subject to feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, and bitterness; more often than not, humans attract these negative feelings after ending a serious relationship with someone. Think about it. How can someone whom you’ve been with for so long hurt you and leave you all alone? This common “after break-up question” haunts different people.

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People who are mature enough to accept that reality doesn’t work that way will know that pain is part of the process and it is something one should let go. But for others who want to hang onto their “justified rage,” they tend to hold onto the bitterness and anger for a long time.

If you noticed that you stopped keeping tabs on whatever your ex is doing or whomever he or she is dating, making comments whenever a mutual friend brings up a topic related to him or her, praying for karma to hit him or her, and letting him or her consume your daily thoughts, then congratulations! You’ve let go of the baggage of bitterness, and you are ready to date again.

You’ve Become Aware Of The “Right Reasons”

It is not uncommon for people to date just because they’re scared to be lonely, and they want to have some fun in their life. Everyone goes through a period of immaturity, and sometimes it is extended to romantic relationships.

If there’s one takeaway from your past relationship, you should be with the person who will be with you in the long run. You need to stop “collecting” partners. Start being with the person who will love you unconditionally. Be with someone who will grow with you, and support you in your journey to becoming the best version of yourself—career-wise and character-wise.

If you’ve realized that you should stop getting into a relationship just for the fun of it and start working on something that can stand the test of time, go back to the dating scene and meet your “candidate” partners!

You Want To Meet Someone New

“Moving on” is different from “getting back out there.” The former means accepting how things turned out with a previous partner. The latter means putting yourself back on the front lines and risk getting your heart broken again. You are probably done with the emotional rollercoaster and have learned to love yourself more and be happy on your own.

If your instinct tells you to meet someone new, it’s most likely because you are finally ready. You are not looking to find someone who can fill the void. You are happy, and you want to be with someone. Even if you rid yourself of the negativities of the past relationship, remember to take things slowly. Remember to enjoy the beauty of dating.

Source: pixabay.com

You’ve Learned To Love And Accept Yourself

Many say that “No one will love you until you love yourself.” It is probably a lie, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you in your quest to find “The One.” Learning to love and accept yourself is a significant milestone in life—for you and your partner—because it is a long journey that not everyone can simply complete.

If you see yourself as someone who is worthy of love, affection, and happiness, it will make you more appealing and more confident in your skin. It will also help you love more and attract positivity into your new relationship.

Source: flickr.com

You Live In Hope That You’ll Be With The Right Partner Soon

Looking to the future with excitement is one major sign that you are ready to get back to the dating scene. People who are not will feel anxiety, stress, and sometimes fear. It will paralyze them and prevent them from meeting new people—their potential partners.

If you are happy, free, and emotionally well, it’s time.

Not everyone can easily transition from the moving-on stage to the dating phase, so if deep inside, you feel like you want to meet someone new,  it’s probably your heart telling you to go for it and date new people.

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MJ Dougherty Takes Part Of 2016 Los Angeles Book Launch

M.J. Dougherty launches his new book, Life Lessons from a Total Failure, in the 2016 Los Angeles Book Launch held at Sand Box, Los Angeles. It was also attended by some notable talent. Christina Moore, John De Luca, Patrick Gallagher, Bill Jones, and Scout Compton are some of the talents.

Life Lessons From A Total Failure
Life Lessons from a Total Failure is based on Dougherty’s life. The book takes the reader to the dark past of the author when he was still in his early years. At this time, he felt that he was doomed to fail in all aspects of life – from his personal and social life until his professional life.

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However, with the help of exploration and discipline, he found clarity and peace after the said challenges. The book brings the readers through a journey full of poor life choices. These choices eventually translated to being the best decision made. It is also considered a self-help book which helps the audience connect to their present self.

The Trevor Project

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The book launch event is also considered to be a service project to the community. A fraction of the collection will be donated to The Trevor Project. It is an organization which provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention programs and services to the LGBTQ youth. Aside from this, Dougherty promised The Trevor Project that all the royalties which would be collected on the day of the launch will be donated to the same initiative. Some guests, such as Barnes and Noble, also pledged that if 1,000 books would be sold that day, they will also be giving the organization 10 percent of the total earnings that night.

Because of this, celebrities poured their support to the book. It does not only provide self-help to the readers but also gives back to the community. M.J. Dougherty and his book is definitely a blessing to everyone.

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Dating Red Flags That Affect Our Mental Well-Being

Many of us see our romantic partners as someone to lean on during difficult times in our life. However, they can sometimes be the opposite of helpful. The sad reality is that toxic relationships are not uncommon. You may not realize it, but your date could exhibit behavior that’s detrimental to our mental wellness.

Let’s take a look at some practices that warn you to get out while it’s early.

Controlling Behavior

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While some people notice some signs of controlling behavior, many tend to shrug it off. What they don’t understand is that this tends to get worse as the relationship progresses.

It could start with something as simple as them asking you to keep them updated on your activities throughout the day. Seems pretty innocent, right? After all, they’re just interested in you, and they want to know what you’re up to.

But this can get worse. Soon enough, your partner might ask you to stop seeing some of your friends and family. They might want you to stop wearing certain types of clothing. They want you to play by their rules.

These signs can’t be anything but harmful to your well-being. They are also forms of mental and psychological abuse. Such behavior means that your partner is stripping you of your free will and identity. It can lead to symptoms of anxiety and depression. Stick with a partner who respects your space and freedom.

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Being Secretive

When you’re in a relationship, you expect to get to know them as nobody else does. Admittedly, that’s not to say that they have to share every detail of their life with you. But it’s worrying when they seem to be very secretive.

This instance can be shown by them being protective of their phone and not wanting you to even touch it. Your partner may also refrain from giving you details about where they’ve been or what they did throughout the day.

When you’re with someone like this, you can’t help but feel like something is wrong. Being in this situation gradually manifests in paranoia. Is my partner cheating on me? Are they living a double life? You’ll want a partner in your life who can be open with you.

Taking Down To You

It’s not unusual to tease around with friends and romantic partners. Sometimes it’s about our height or a weird habit. However, you’ll know when the joke seems to be taking a different direction.

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Some people talk down to their partners. Almost everything coming out of their mouth is some form of criticism. They make negative comments about your appearance, friends, family, hobbies, interests, life choices, and so on. While some criticism can help you grow, it certainly isn’t helpful if it’s the only thing you hear.

Being treated in this particular way can be a sharp blow to your confidence. All of us have insecurities, and your partner should be helping you overcome them instead of adding to it. Find someone who enables you to grow, not hinder you from such.

Lying And Gaslighting

They say that a little white lie never hurt anybody. While that’s true, constant lying is a huge red flag. It’s one thing to lie about going to bed when you’re playing video games. It’s another thing for you to say you’re with family when you’re out drinking with friends.

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Gaslighting is an even bigger problem. It is a form of manipulation wherein a person makes you question your observations, reality, and even sanity. They can do this by feeding you wrong information, diverting your attention to a different topic, or trivializing your feelings and concerns.

For example, you confront your partner about forgetting to do an errand you asked them to do. They can counter by saying that you never requested them to do such in the first place. It is another technique people use to gaslight or manipulate you.

Manipulation can leave long-lasting emotional scars. It can make you distrustful of people, making it hard to connect with others. It makes you question your sanity and whether or not your feelings are valid. This can make you susceptible to mental health disorders.


It’s true about the saying love is blind. But those who are smart will keep their eyes peeled for red flags such as these. In all relationships, it isn’t wise to give the other person everything you have and can. Saving love for yourself is essential. Keep yourself and your mental well-being as your top priority.

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5 Things You Should Understand Before Dating Someone With Panic Attack 

It is not a person’s choice to have a condition that may hinder some essential things in life such as work and relationships. Mental health issues like anxiety and panic attacks can be challenging and life-changing as they make a person adjust with the limitations they bring.

Source: flickr.com
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Why Girls Are Obsessed With Relationship Goals

It’s 2018 and yet, dozens and dozens of men are still complaining about not knowing what women really want. If you’re one of those asking, the answer to your seemingly undying question can be found mostly… on Twitter. Yes, you read that right, Twitter. Start looking here to have an idea of what we’re about to go into.

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What To Look For In A Date

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It sucks when someone judges you. That’s exactly my thought whenever I see a crowd of three or four adults looking at a girl going inside a bank with skimpy shorts and a tattered shirt. I’d think, “Hey, leave her be, will you?” Who says great people always wear ties?

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 How To Get Over Your First-Date Jitters

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They say first impressions last, so you’ll want to make a good one. If you’re worried about hitting the mark, here are some tips to help you prepare for that first date.


Set the mood.

Even before you meet up with your date, try to set the mood for yourself. Take time to really prepare for the date. Take a relaxing warm shower or bath. Play some feel-good music and dance around your room a little.

Pump yourself up by talking to some friends who will be encouraging. Try to figure out how to get yourself excited about the date instead of thinking about what could go wrong.


Have realistic expectations.

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Forget about the dozens of romantic comedies you’ve seen. Hollywood has set the bar unrealistically high. Go easy on yourself – and your date – by setting realistic expectations. The conversation doesn’t have to be non-stop.

Some silence in between is completely normal and doesn’t necessarily mean your date is bored. Some slip-ups or mistakes are perfectly fine. Sometimes, these can make the night even more memorable. It’s important to remember that everything doesn’t have to go perfectly smoothly.


Practice having casual conversations.

 If you feel anxious over the thought of small talk and conversing, try practicing before your big date. Strike up a conversation with someone at the park or your local barista. Finding your rhythm and knowing what you can easily talk about will be a great help.

If you’re uncomfortable talking about yourself, try to focus on what interests you about the other person. Once you’ve figured that out, ask more about it. Another tip is to listen to what other people ask you about. Use those questions as a guide and maybe you can ask your date the same things.


See it in a different light.

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Don’t see it as a make-or-break date. Try thinking of it as making a new friend, at the very least. This will help with worries you might have about messing up. Try to imagine you’re just talking to a friend. Let yourself relax around them and don’t think about worst-case scenarios. Try to put your mindset into thinking of it as something you’re already comfortable with.

Another way to look at a first date is that it’ll never be a losing situation. You’re getting into this date as a single individual. At best, you make a good connection and a second date. At worst, you’ve gained new experiences and know more about what you’re looking for in a person.


Don’t over-analyze the date afterward.

Don’t beat yourself up over stuttering when you spoke about your job. Don’t stress over forgetting a detail about your date. These things happen. Owning up to your mistakes are important but replaying them over and over in your head helps nobody.

If you make a slip-up, apologize and move on. Laugh and maybe make a joke out of it. Don’t hold onto the mistakes you might have made. Thinking about them too much will not bring you back in time to prevent you from making them.

Things are over and done with already. Learn from them but also move on. Remember that everyone also gets nervous and can make slip-ups too.


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Heartbreak And Depression

Source: metro.co.uk


Have you heard Sam Smith’s latest song? The title of his beautiful song filled with so much hurt and pain is “Too Good At Goodbyes”. For Sam, it’s about unrequited love which is so common. You fall in love and give your all, but it’s always not good enough. In fact, nothing you do will ever be enough. Have you ever felt that way in your whole life? According to Betterhelp, some people even get to the point of depression when their love is unanswered and their heart is played.


“I know you’re thinkin’ I’m heartless

I know you’re thinkin’ I’m cold

I’m just protectin’ my innocence

I’m just protectin’ my soul”


~ Too Good At Goodbyes, Sam Smith


Andrea never had a serious relationship after Don. Her three boyfriends after him all said the same thing – “Andrea is cold. She’s mean, man. Heartless.” They didn’t know about Don and what happened to her with him.


Source: attracttheone.com


Andrea and Don


The couple were high school sweethearts and they dated all the way through college. After 8 years of being together, Don just left without a word. Andrea was a total wreck and she didn’t know what to do. A week after his intentional disappearance, Don sent an email to Andrea telling her that he was suffocated and that he needed to get away from her.


They were each other’s first and the couple literally grew up together. Andrea blamed herself for everything and at one time, she even contemplated suicide. Her father walked on her cutting herself and since then, they monitored her every move. She was in a treatment program for her depression and suicidal tendencies. After a year, Andrea showed a different side.


When the therapist said that she can “live on her own”, Andrea tried to move on and mask the pain.


“I’m never gonna let you close to me

Even though you mean the most to me

‘Cause every time I open up, it hurts

So I’m never gonna get too close to you

Even when I mean the most to you

In case you go and leave me in the dirt”


~ Too Good At Goodbyes, Sam Smith


This was her way of getting by. She never gave it her all again. Andrea refused to fall in love again because, at the back of her mind, they will do to her what Don so conveniently put her through.


Was it a healthy reaction for Andrea? No. The moment her boyfriend made a mistake, Andrea shuts off and walks away.


Source: hellogiggles.com



Travis was her boyfriend after Don and he said something that triggered Andrea’s past experience. It wasn’t even bad, but Andrea was totally sensitive and thought, “Not again.” She just told him that it was over without a valid explanation.


Nick was a sweet guy. He tried to show her how much she meant to him by pushing Andrea to meet his parents. Andrea didn’t handle the situation well and left Nick with his parents standing at the middle of the restaurant. She texted him – “We’re done.”


Roy was bad news. Andrea liked the idea of being with a rocker guy at arm’s length and detached. They would fool around and Andrea was still empty. For a while, Roy was fine with it. She grew tired and dumped him, though. “Bye,” she said.


“And every time you hurt me, the less that I cry

And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry

And every time you walk out, the less I love you

Baby, we don’t stand a chance, it’s sad but it’s true”


~ Too Good At Goodbyes, Sam Smith


Andrea needed help. She wouldn’t admit it, but what she did to her other boyfriends were not normal. A heartbreak can indeed render you helpless for a period of time. It must not consume you and destroy your ability to love and be loved.





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Ready, Set, Move On From A Toxic Relationship

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Moving on from a relationship is hard, but moving on from a toxic relationship is a totally different story. You may not recognize it yet, or perhaps you are still in denial, but identifying a toxic from a healthy relationship could be one of the most enlightening experiences to have. Not until you ended and have moved on from that toxic relationship would you totally feel relieved and free.


Toxic relationships come in various forms. However, their main denominators would be: taking away your self-confidence, destroying your self-esteem, and degrading you to a level you never thought you would ever have to be in. Most abused individuals never thought they would let anyone break them the way their partners do. But when they’ve become too invested in the relationship and have been perfectly manipulated by their abusers, they feel as if they were held as captives and that there is no way out.


Fortunately, a lot of people have been out of toxic relationships and are able to tell their stories of how they ended things and moved on. So, if you think there’s no way out, think again. Here are proven steps to move on from a toxic relationship:


Block all forms of communication.

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The first few months after a breakup is a tough part. You constantly miss your ex-partner and you keep thinking about what they are doing and if they are doing just fine without you. You find yourself stalking them on Twitter, watching their Instagram stories, and checking the green circle on Facebook messenger.


Sure, it could go on for a few weeks. But if you are really determined to forget and move on, you have to realize that stalking your ex will not help you get there. The mantra “Out of sight, out of mind” is especially helpful for people wanting to forget.


Block them on all social media sites where you follow each other, erase their contact number, and challenge yourself for a week or even a month of ‘total abstinence’ from them.


Love yourself.


Staying in an abusive relationship means you lack self-love. If you value yourself, you would know that you do not deserve to be treated that way in the first place. Now that you are free, it’s time to make up for everything you’ve been through by pampering yourself and not settling for anything less than you deserve.


Self-love could be as easy as going on a shopping spree and upgrading your wardrobe or even having that eyelash extension you’ve always wanted. Make it all about you, once and for all.


Go out with your friends and build a support system.

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Most of the time, abusers do not let their partners go out with their friends as often as they did when they were single. It could be because they do not want their partners to share to their friends what is happening between them or they are just plain jealous all the time.


Your friends are your friends for a reason and if going out with them would make you forget, then do so by all means. Share with them what you’ve been through to get the support that you need. You might be overwhelmed by the immensity of support you will get from the people around you when all along you thought you were alone in your battle.


Seek help from a therapist.

source: intentblog.com

Some people who have been in very toxic relationships lose all hope of ever fixing themselves. There are several online and personal therapists whom you could reach at any time to seek help. You may be wondering how much is therapy, but it could all depend on the degree of help that you would be needing.


It is best that you consult either online or set an appointment right away. You can start with visiting BetterHelp.com to know what options are available for you as well as how much it actually costs to use online therapy. Talking to an expert would give you a scientific understanding of what you’ve been through, why you let it happen, and why it continues to affect you. Remember, you have been manipulated and abused. You’re not supposed to blame yourself for falling into a trap.


Prioritize self-growth.


Make yourself busy by improving yourself. Take that cooking class you’ve been interested about or that calligraphy class you’ve been eyeing online. Even the smallest things such as reading a few articles a day, or hitting the gym for an hour would make a huge difference in your life. Do it for yourself because you owe it yourself.


Degrees of the toxic relationship vary from one couple to another. But moving out of it could be done in similar ways. It might just take longer for other people but with sheer determination, you will also get there. For now, block your ex first and from there, everything will follow.

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Testing The Waters Through Dating



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The World of Dating

I’ve asked a lot of my male friends what they would really do to get to date a woman. Most of them actually surprised me when they said that they would do mostly anything for their woman to date them – or to have sex with them. Meaning, women won’t know if they’re in it for the marriage or merely for getting them to bed.

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